What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

How did my ex move on very fast?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

What is the best way to get revenge on people who hurt you?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

TEXT:

When does a woman know she is cumming?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Gun owners, imagine if an attacker comes to your home and takes your gun to use against you before you had the chance to pick it up. Would you regret owning a gun?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.